To Love and to BE-LOVED ~ Psalm 139

In our last entry, we looked at David's faithfulness in serving the leadership to which he was called to serve. And between that entry and now, I have been thinking much on this week's parsha which tells of Korach and the rebellion he sought to lead against Moshe and Aharon. It is an "opposite scenario" and I knew there was a thread being stitched in my heart to write ... and yet ... I could not seem to grasp what it was. I knew I was meant to be looking at the life of David and yet there was something about the story of Korach that was weaving its way in ... like a thread that connected both with the story in my heart  that was longing to be told ... like somehow it all fit together ... pieces of a jigsaw puzzle scattered across the floor of my heart  ... I just couldn't find the piece that was needed to connect. And then suddenly, just as I was turning the lights off for bed it hit me... THE LIGHT WENT ON inside of me! As I thought about 'the leadership issue' - David vs Korach - round and round I went until SUDDENLY!!! these words whispered to me so softly and yet ... they echoed back at me so profoundly that it could have knocked me off my feet ... like one standing on a mountain top listening to an echo whirling like the wind from across the valley ... and this is what I heard  ...
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"TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED!"

M y heart leapt within me as I heard its whisper in return ... a loud and resounding 'YES!' 'YES' AND 'YES' again! In that moment - that time and space - I knew what it was I was meant to be drawing out of the well today ~  To Love and to Be Loved ~  like words bringing Life to dry bones, like Living Waters beginning to pour over parched and dry land ... so ...​

​"As I lay my head down to sleep 
A thread of thought began to speak
Like a lullaby being sung over me
​Until the break of dawn.

​So ... here I am in the light of day
Let's see where He will lead today
Are you ready ... steady ... let's walk together
As we look to Him for heavenly treasure"

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"To love and to be loved" ... is that not what each and every one of our hearts desire? Is that not the very essence of why He came ...

            "For G-D so loved the world ..."

Ultimately, to be loved by G-D and to love Him ... is that not the fundamental basics of the human heart and how and why we were created? For relationship with G-D, but also with man, for God said "it is not good that man should be alone." Surely, is it not from that heart source that everything else should flow ... in the same way I look to see "a river that went out of Eden to water the garden, and from there it parted and became four river heads" Genesis 2:10... I look again to see the human heart and its four valves ... the living waters of which Yeshua speaks ... I look once more  to see the winnowing fork in His hand ... but I won't get too far ahead of myself ... "I didn't see that one coming"  ...

​So ... there I was, standing in the dark of the kitchen, lights off and yet fireworks exploding in my heart ... I look and I see how I wanted to

                          light up the sky!
                 Like sparklers in the night!

For all the world to see!  My heart bursting forth like one of those rivers from the garden ... bursting with the truth that was coming to light! 
​

• "Spark ONE!!!" Thoughts of Korach burst into the night sky ... I look up and I see the world in which we live ... the ways we see the human heart reaching and striving to find its place in this world ... but so often in misguided ways. We see mankind jostling for position ... jostling for power with great ambition, all the while a burning and underlying need to make ourselves feel important ... desperately but hopelessly  longing to fill those places on the inside that only HaShem can fill. How different would things look if we truly knew our value and worth simply because we are loved by The One who IS Love (1 John 4:8), the One who shows us what Love really looks like... and the ONLY One who empowers us to love in return.
• "Spark TWO!!!" Bursting upward and close behind come thoughts of David and his shepherd heart ... his willingness to serve the G-D of Israel and to serve the leadership he was called to serve. In those moments, that time and space as I stood quietly before my G-D ... it suddenly hit me like a sparkler lit within my own heart ...  LOUD & CLEAR! like never before ... like a spark ignited! I look to hear the beating of my own heart - I look again to find that it is not actually alone ... I look once more in awestruck wonder to see it as if it were beating in time with the One who is holding me steady as I desperately look to Him to lead me in this dance ...
• ​"Spark THREE!!!" I hear the voice of one crying ... a whisper that's loud and clear ... a desperate cry from deep inside ... for all heaven and earth to hear ...

I desire not for fortune or fame...
For reputation, for building a name.
Position or power does not lure my heart...
The gold of this world ... I simply want NO part.
I just long to BE-loved and to Love in return...
Pure and simple! Not stolen nor earned!
To know You, to love You ... to BE where You are...
To find You on earth, not just "up in the stars!"
To serve where You are calling me to serve...
To dare ask of You for what I don't deserve!
To have a heart like David's - a heart after Your own...
A place for You to dwell O G-D, to sit upon its throne!
For You to be L-RD of every part ...
Come and reign ... BE KING of my heart! 

That I would Truly know, that You would help me to receive on earth what it is in heaven ... for heaven and earth to 'collide' and make something Truly beautiful ...

​To Love and to Be Loved ... on earth as is it in heaven!

To Truly know how to live this life You are calling me to live!
​That my life would reflect WHO YOU REALLY ARE and Your Truth ...
That it would Truly make a difference as You call me out to walk different!

To Love and to Be Loved ... on earth as it is in heaven!

And that from the source of Your Love which continues to captivate my heart, all other things would flow ... like streams in the desert ... like a flood pouring in and drowning everything within me that would seek to rise up in a way that is not pleasing to You. My heart cries out with the words of Psalm 84:11 ... actually ALL of Psalm 84, but you can read it for yourself if you choose  ; )

​"For a day in Your courts is better
than a thousand days anywhere else.
​I had rather be a doorkeeper in the House of my G-D
​than to dwell in the tents of wickedness."

​L-RD of Hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You (vs 13)​​

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And as we consider the words of the finishing song ...

"I could never run from Your love, I could never hide from Your love, I could never run from Your love further than You'll find me"  ...

​I leave us with these words:

Psalm 139:7-12

​"Where will I go from Your Spirit?
​Or where will I flee from Your presence?
​If I ascend to heaven, You are there.
​If I make my bed in the depth below, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, dwelling in the uttermost
​parts of the sea, even there Your hand will lead me and
Your right hand will hold me.
​If I say, surely darkness will cover me,
even the night will be light about me.
​Yes, the darkness does not hide from You,
but the night shines like the day.
The darkness and the light are both alike."

"So pull me a little closer ... take me a little deeper ... I want to know Your heart ... I want to know Your heart ... Cause Your love is so much stronger than anything I've faced and ... I want to know Your heart ...

"I want to know Your heart!"

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"Search me, O G-D, and know my heart.
Try me and know my thoughts.
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
​and lead me in the Way everlasting."
​
​Amen and Amen! ​

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** Coming up next ...
"What does Love Look Like?"